Hardtuned.net: Bad Man - Viewing Profile

General Info

Location:

Australia SA

Gender:

Interests:

I'm really only interested in myself.. so.....


Marital Status: Single. As if that's not completely obvious.

Life Goals: To be a celebrity that gets paid to get drunk, act like an asshole, and get drunk some more.

Favorite Food: Free food.

Favorite Hobbies: I like to fart in the bathtub and turn around and bite the bubbles.

Favorite Practical Joke: Sometimes I'll go down to the dog pound and pretend that I found my dog. Then I tell them to kill him anyway, because I already gave away all his stuff. Dog people don't have a very good sense of humor.

Favorite Indoor Activity: Drinking. I find that when I drink I become incredibly charming. I do things like yell obscenities at random people, vomit everywhere and break things that don't belong to me.

Favorite Outdoor Activity: Drinking, again. When I get drunk outside, in addition to being abusive and destructive, my charm extends to urinating in inappropriate places, running around with my clothes off and passing out in public parks.

Favorite Sexual Position: Me drunk and her paying.

Favorite TV Show: The Iron Chef. That show is so unintentionally funny. Actually, right now I'd have to with The Shield. I defy anyone to name a better show right now--and it's NOT The Sopranos.

Favorite TV Character: What's the name of that thing on Nickelodeon, SploogeBob FunPants? Yeah, like that's not the manifestation of someone's mescaline induced homoerotic dream.

Favorite Movie: The one I did with those girls I met in Cancun, when they...oh, you mean like a commercial movie? Hmm...I don't know.

Favorite Pick-up Line: "Grunt big for daddy."

Favorite Saying: "Why are you still here?"

Favorite Word(s): Open Bar

Favorite Holiday: I've always been partial to Canadian Independence Day, because it seems like such a ridiculous holiday to me. Don't they know they exist at Americas whim?

Favorite Pro Athlete: Has to be Ron Artest. That guy is f**king crazy. My favorite Ron Artest story is how he tried to get a job at Circuit City because he was buying so much stuff there he figured he might as well get a job for the employee discount.

Favorite Celebrity: Sirhan-Sirhan. He was the original one name celebrity.

Favorite Non-Fiction Book: I love to read. I could go with The Autobiography of Malcolm X, which I read in seventh grade, and totally changed my life. Or perhaps Sperm Wars, by Robin Baker. It's a real book, about human sexual behavior, I'm not making the title up. Completely changed how I approached women. Or of course, there's History of the Peloponnesian War, by Thucydides, one of the definitive texts of the Western Canon. Alright, I'll stop now, I'm getting too intellectual for this retarded site.

Favorite Children's Book: Everybody Poops is a classic, of course. Or my new favorite, That's It, You're Going Up For Adoption, is good too. It's a little dark.

Favorite Number: Considering that I am a heavy believer in numerology, that is a tough question. There are so many possibilities. I'll call my psychic, ask her, and get back to you. And I'll do both of those things right after I shove a fork directly into my eye.

Favorite Color: This can't seriously be a question.

Favorite Month: This is starting to get stupid.

Turn-ons: Hot women, cute women, attractive women, willing women, aggressive women, funny women, successful women, women with huge fake breasts, In-n-Out and Chick-Fil-A (Those are fast food chains, not some derogatory terms for a woman).

Turn-offs: Ugly women, excessively fat women, women who snort when eating, stupid people, Drift groupies, anything Marxist

Car Type:

Nissan Silvia

Occupation:

Bad things

Motorsport CV:

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